Digests from the KALEIDOSCAPES MONTHLY TOPIC
(HOMESCHOOLING) DISCUSSION BOARD
These are the original digests from Kaleidoscapes' MONTHLY TOPIC discussion boards.
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Back to the Digest Index
HOMESCHOOLING BOYS: THE JOYS AND
CHALLENGES (Part 3)
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#168: Re: as the mom of active boys... (Kim from Sidetr)
#170: Competition~ How much do they need? (Kristen AKA cur)
#171: Re: Competition~ How much do they need? (Maureen)
#172: Sylvia Rimm (LizMessick)
#173: teaching about God (Laura O.)
#174: Re: teaching about God (Giovanna)
#175: Re: Competition~ How much do they need? (Anita)
#176: Re: teaching about God (Laura O.)
#177: Re: Sylvia Rimm (Giovanna)
#178: Re: teaching about God (Annette)
#179: Re: Competition~ How much do they need? (Jennifer in San)
#180: Re: teaching about God (denise in china)
#182: trapped by curriculum... (Maureen)
#183: Re: Sylvia Rimm (LizMessick)
#184: Re: teaching about God (Patty)
#185: Re: I have 4 boys..Me too!.. (Patty)
#186: Re: teaching about God (snow NC)
#188: My "special needs boys" (Kristen AKA cur)
#189: Another opinion (Lee)
#191: Boys party (Maureen)
#192: Re: Boys party (Annette)
#193: Re: My "special needs boys" (Maureen)
#194: Re: Boys party (Giovanna)
#195: Re: Boys party (Catherine in On)
#200: I also have 4 boys... (MrsD)
#202: Boys, Crankiness, and Their Diets (Linda)
#203: boys (Laurie)
#204: When the problem is actually a HEALTH problem... (Giovanna)
#205: Re: boys (Giovanna)
#206: Sounds like my house... (AnnaM)
#207: only boy (kyla)
#208: Eye Movement Treatment (Brenda In Ohio)
#209: Re: boys (Laurie)
#210: Re: Another opinion (Laurie)
#211: Re: boys (Giovanna)
#212: Re: When the problem is actually a HEALTH problem. (Linda)
#213: Re: boys (Suz)
#214: Re: boys (Laurie)
#215: Re: only boy (Giovanna)
#216: Where does myopia originate? (Maureen)
#217: Re: boys (Maureen)
#218: Re: only boy (Maureen)
#220: Re: boys (Cerelle)
#221: Re: only boy (Cerelle)
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MESSAGE: (#168) Re: as the mom of active boys...
AUTHOR: Kim from Sidetr
DATE: Monday, 17 April 2000, at 9:49 a.m.
Reply To: (#147) Re: boys and physical acting out
Author: michelle
Date: Friday, 14 April 2000, at 8:06 p.m.
Let's
: wrestle MOM!!!
(I was knocked into the closet by a "hug" one time...)
I went to put a stop to the wrestling around before bed the other night and
went into the office to find my oldest girl (10) with the boys (6 and 7) in
headlocks- one under each arm... She and I had a little talk about not being
so loud while the boys squirmed and tried to get out of it. It was kind of
funny ! ;-)
I've told them you never know who is going to grow bigger than you so you
better be nice ... so far they don't believe me ... ;-)
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MESSAGE: (#170) Competition~ How much do they need?
AUTHOR: Kristen AKA cur
DATE: Monday, 17 April 2000, at 5:42 p.m.
This is something I have been thinking about lately. Both my boys are "special
needs" and so we have had to fervently avoid many of the "normal" competition
things that most boys do....little league, soccar, swim team, etc. We even had
to drop karate when problems developed. Then I start to worry, since they
missed out on the competitie stuff, are they going to be less well prepared
for their future? sigh~ not sure I can change it now, but I wonder if there is
something else we could to do about it.
=) Kristen ~~(*-*)~~
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MESSAGE: (#171) Re: Competition~ How much do they need?
AUTHOR: Maureen
DATE: Monday, 17 April 2000, at 6:26 p.m.
Reply To: (#170) Competition~ How much do they need?
Author: Kristen AKA cur
Date: Monday, 17 April 2000, at 5:42 p.m.
I guess before I'd give you any feedback on this, I'd want to hear what kind
of "special needs" your boys have. How important are these "normal"
competition things for children? I don't know. I do think getting kids
involved in extra-curricular activities gives children many opportunities to
practice their sociability skills, but I'm sure that the activities don't have
to be particularly competitive for this to happen. I don't remember seeing
anything about "competition" being a developmental need in my psych classes in
school, if it makes a difference in how you see things... It seems to me that
there are whole societies built around values that don't include
competitiveness. On the other hand, many of men's relationships at work and
socially as adults do include some measure of competition and one upmanship,
even in the white collar industry. My hubby says this is simply how men are. I
would suspect that experiencing and dealing with competition growing up might
help prepare children for dealing with it as adults...I don't know. What do
you think?
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MESSAGE: (#172) Sylvia Rimm
AUTHOR: LizMessick
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 12:57 a.m.
Reply To: (#150) I just thought of something
Author: Giovanna
Date: Saturday, 15 April 2000, at 1:23 a.m.
This seems a good place to plug a book and author that has been very helpful
to me: Sylvia Rimm, and particularly her book, "Why Bright Kids Get Poor
Grades."
She talks about what she calls "underachievement syndrome," (I think those are
her words - a friend has my copy, so I'm 'quoting' from memory!), and mentions
many manifestations and causes. My son was angry, overempowered,
passive-aggressive, and an underachiever. I had to deal with bullying,
physical acting out of anger, and his doing mean things just "because I can."
But other kids do underachieve because they are perfectionists - starting out
to clean a room and getting sidetracked alphabetizing the bookshelf, or
organizing all his baseball cards. Starting a report, but becoming mesmerized
with the details to the point where a succinct summarizing becomes impossible.
There are lots of other "types" of underachievers - mixtures of "types," too -
in Sylvia Rimm's picture of the kinds of kids who 'can but don't,' and this
book is well worth a read if you even think you might have a kid tended that
way. You can tell from the title that she's talking about school problems
mainly, but it is actually even easier to use her ideas without having to
worry about whether your child's teacher will support and agree with you!
Liz Messick
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MESSAGE: (#173) teaching about God
AUTHOR: Laura O.
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 9:28 a.m.
I will be a new HSer. I have 2 sons, both Christians - 3rd and 6th grade. My
third grader constantly talks about Jesus and is thrilled about a Bible class.
My 6th grader doesn't want a Bible class, "It's just more work!" I plan on
using Alpha Omega with both. I am planning on going through the Bible
curricula with my youngest, but wonder about my oldest. Would there be enough
about God in the other subjects to skip the Bible curricula this year and
start next year? My boys are coming out of PS and I want the transition to be
as easy as possible. My 6th grader has had a rough way to go in PS. I don't
doubt his salvation, but I don't want to cram it down his throat. I want him
to enjoy God's gift. Should I start the Bible curricula this year or next?
Thank you for your input.
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MESSAGE: (#174) Re: teaching about God
AUTHOR: Giovanna
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 10:46 a.m.
Reply To: (#173) teaching about God
Author: Laura O.
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 9:28 a.m.
HI!
Let me give you my perspective on this.
It's very possible that a curriculum about God may totally BORE your 6th
grader. Does he attend Sunday School? This is probably all he needs as far as
"Bible curriculum" then. I agree with him. Bible curriculum is just "one more
thing" and don't get me wrong..... I am a Christian who loves Jesus with all
her heart.
With a 6th grader the way to nourish a relationship with God is NOT through a
curriculum. It's artificial. The best way to do this is by real life
application and reading THE BIBLE.
Instead of chosing a curriculum why not purchase a devotional Bible or book
for him (there are some wonderful ones out there for teens) and do the
devotionals with him. This, in my opinion, is much better and much more REAL.
As parents we do have a Biblical mandate to raise our children under God's
direction. But "curriculum" does not guarantee to produce a genuine love for
God. He is probably at a *very normal* stage in his life where he is
evaluating what he truly believes and feels about God. He is probably at a
point where he is getting ready to make a true personal decision. A curriculum
isn't going to encourage this to happen. His decision has to be made from the
INSIDE OUT. It has to be something that comes by a relationship with God and
from revelation by God and trust me.... a curriculum just isn't going to do
this. I think a curriculum for your younger boy is nice especially if he likes
it. Your eldest, however, needs something very REAL.
So what to do?
Get him a teen's devotional book or a teen's Bible and read it together,
discuss it and have true personal time with God together. Pray together, keep
a prayer journal and keep track of answered prayers. Show him that God is a
God of action! :-)
Giovanna
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MESSAGE: (#175) Re: Competition~ How much do they need?
AUTHOR: Anita
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 12:05 p.m.
Reply To: (#170) Competition~ How much do they need?
Author: Kristen AKA cur
Date: Monday, 17 April 2000, at 5:42 p.m.
I don't know what special needs your boys have. But one thing to remember
(especially with your boys) is that everyone is different. One friend of mine
thrives on competition--she is a girl. My son isn't very competitive in the
least, but he truly seems to enjoy the comradery provided by sports--he's in
roller hockey and tennis. Tennis is great for his individual goals--if he
isn't hitting right, he gets mad at himself and changes his swing. I see this
as good. Roller hockey has encouraged him to make friends and become a little
more aggressive (for him, this is one area where he needed more experience).
All and all, I think sports/exercise are good for anyone and they should be
encouraged daily. For children with special needs, if they don't enjoy the
team atmosphere, there are individual sports such as dance, swimming, tennis,
running... But again, competition isn't for everyone--even if they are boys.
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MESSAGE: (#176) Re: teaching about God
AUTHOR: Laura O.
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 1:27 p.m.
Reply To: (#174) Re: teaching about God
Author: Giovanna
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 10:46 a.m.
Thank you! I really like your alternative. We have always tried to raise our
boys with Christ as our guide. My question about curriculum led to guilt. I
knew I should teach him as much about Jesus as possible, but I felt trapped by
curriculum before I even started. My son would probably love to do devotions
instead. After all, when do you feel closest to God --- when you speak to Him!
You have really helped to put my mind at ease. Thank you again! I'm sure my
son would thank you, too.
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MESSAGE: (#177) Re: Sylvia Rimm
AUTHOR: Giovanna
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 3:43 p.m.
Reply To: (#172) Sylvia Rimm
Author: LizMessick
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 12:57 a.m.
: But other kids do underachieve because they are
: perfectionists - starting out to clean a
: room and getting sidetracked alphabetizing
: the bookshelf, or organizing all his
: baseball cards. Starting a report, but
: becoming mesmerized with the details to the
: point where a succinct summarizing becomes
: impossible.
Oh my gosh! This is my kid!
He alphabetized his internet bookmarks. Don't ask me.
What do you think? What does her book say about that?
Giovanna
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MESSAGE: (#178) Re: teaching about God
AUTHOR: Annette
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 4:51 p.m.
Reply To: (#176) Re: teaching about God
Author: Laura O.
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 1:27 p.m.
Just a second vote for Giovanna's post here! I have never used a Bible
curriculum because I also feel that real life is the best relationship builder
around. We do pray together, read out of the Bible together and talk about it,
lest you think we are totally irresponsible in this area. :o) However, the
best times have been those real life conversations as I am tucking them in at
night, or as we drive in the car, or go for a walk....just like in Deut 6. As
subjects come up we talk about them...and believe me we have had some tough
ones come up. Death, sexual issues (as in premarital vs. abstinence,
homosexuality,) divorce, depression, obedience, but these discussions have
been so open....is the only way I can think of to describe them. My kids
asking questions without fear or embarressment...and me sometimes choking down
the lump in my throat to answer them. Knowig God's word is a living breathig
thing...it is a relationship. A workbook totally does not do it justice.
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MESSAGE: (#179) Re: Competition~ How much do they need?
AUTHOR: Jennifer in San
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 6:48 p.m.
Reply To: (#170) Competition~ How much do they need?
Author: Kristen AKA cur
Date: Monday, 17 April 2000, at 5:42 p.m.
You even dropped karate? Change karate schools! The school my boys and I are
in doesn't compare kids to one another, they are evaluated only on individual
effort, and the instructors really care about cultivating good people, not
just black belts. I started taking class too because my son was having just
too much fun, and now in addition to adult class, both boys and I take a
family class together, even though we are 3 different belt levels. The boys
pay less attention to the other kids in class since they get to be together
and with me.
AND!! All you moms of boys--an added benefit of a mom taking karate is it
increases your reflex time--I can successfully block and protect myself from
wayward elbows and knees during all those over-eager hugs and cuddles!!!!!
I would think that the healthy, well rounded, and "centered" boys you are
raising will be able to deal with competitive people as they get older. If not
they can just break their ribs with a good side kick! (just kidding!)
Jennifer
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MESSAGE: (#180) Re: teaching about God
AUTHOR: denise in china
DATE: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 8:07 p.m.
Reply To: (#178) Re: teaching about God
Author: Annette
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 4:51 p.m.
I think devotionals are the way to go too. I may add missionary biographies
during a family time, read out loud to both boys, to help them see GOd in
others lives. Sonlight curriculum has tons of these books that are great read
alouds. Or another idea is the Hero Tales set. There are three volumes I
think. FInd a copy and see if this is age appropriate. (It could be a little
young for the 6th grader)
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MESSAGE: (#182) trapped by curriculum...
AUTHOR: Maureen
DATE: Wednesday, 19 April 2000, at 1:19 a.m.
Reply To: (#176) Re: teaching about God
Author: Laura O.
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 1:27 p.m.
I just wanted to mention that if you are already starting to feel "trapped" by
a curriculum, that maybe a "canned" approach is not going to be the best route
for your family, especially in your first year. Denise in China (post down
below) mentioned Sonlight Curriculum, and I just have to add that this
curriculum, of all the ones I've looked into is wonderfully flexible,
fascinating, organized, and COMPLETE. I know you said you've planned on using
A/O next year, but it never hurts to peek into another catalogue. I did it on
a recommendation from a friend, not expecting much and found it to be perfect
for our needs. I hope that you find all that you need for your boys next year
and things go well for all of you!
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MESSAGE: (#183) Re: Sylvia Rimm
AUTHOR: LizMessick
DATE: Wednesday, 19 April 2000, at 1:28 a.m.
Reply To: (#177) Re: Sylvia Rimm
Author: Giovanna
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 3:43 p.m.
Golly, Giovanna, I have to admit that I skimmed that perfectionist part - one
look was enough for me to say, "Nope, not my kid!" And, like I said, my friend
has the book right now. I'll try to borrow it back this week and see what her
"perfectionist cure" is - (kinda reminds me of Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and her
cures for bullying, picky eaters, slow-movers, and all that!)
Liz
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MESSAGE: (#184) Re: teaching about God
AUTHOR: Patty
DATE: Wednesday, 19 April 2000, at 8:25 a.m.
Reply To: (#173) teaching about God
Author: Laura O.
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 9:28 a.m.
Hi. I am new to homeschooling so I don't know as much as most of the
experienced Moms here who have been homeschooling but I just wanted to tell
you about something I found which I am going to use with my boys. It is put
out by Doorposts.com IT is called "Plants grown up" Its a big book of
different ideas to do with your boys. Its got certain subjects with each
chapter and activities that go with that subject. The people who wrote it
(Doorposts) noticed that there sons were growing up so fast and they wanted to
grow there boys into Godly men, so they came up with this. I don't think it is
a curriculum but actually suggestions to do with your boys with some
suggestive memory work (optional) You could check this out as an alternative
to a Bible curriculum. This seems good to me. I have it on order right now.
Let me know if you are interested in it and I can help you find there internet
site. Patty in Ohio iluvmtm@hotmail.com
: I will be a new HSer. I have 2 sons, both
: Christians - 3rd and 6th grade. My third
: grader constantly talks about Jesus and is
: thrilled about a Bible class. My 6th grader
: doesn't want a Bible class, "It's just
: more work!" I plan on using Alpha Omega
: with both. I am planning on going through
: the Bible curricula with my youngest, but
: wonder about my oldest. Would there be
: enough about God in the other subjects to
: skip the Bible curricula this year and start
: next year? My boys are coming out of PS and
: I want the transition to be as easy as
: possible. My 6th grader has had a rough way
: to go in PS. I don't doubt his salvation,
: but I don't want to cram it down his throat.
: I want him to enjoy God's gift. Should I
: start the Bible curricula this year or next?
: Thank you for your input.
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MESSAGE: (#185) Re: I have 4 boys..Me too!..
AUTHOR: Patty
DATE: Wednesday, 19 April 2000, at 8:37 a.m.
Reply To: (#113) I have 4 boys...
Author: Sheila
Date: Wednesday, 12 April 2000, at 5:22 a.m.
Wow! someone else has 4 boys! Mine are 8,7,7,&4! Yes, I have a set of twins!
and we are trying for #5 (hopefully a girl?) but we will love another boy.
Next fall, I will begin homeschooling them. Don't you get tired of when you
are in a public place all the negative comments like; 'are those all
yours?'and How about, ' your got your hands full'! Whatever happened to my 4
boys being a blessing from God? well, I love my 4 boys and if I have another
boy, oh well, we will just have a Basketball team with my husband being the
coach! LOL!! from Patty in ohio
: So, I've hit the jackpot! LOL
: My son's are 9.5, 7, and 2yo twins! And right
: smack dab in the middle is my 4yo daughter
: (Who, of course, acts and looks more like a
: boy these days.)
: Oh, some days my boys are just the hugest
: blessings. My oldest, who is pretty big for
: his age, strong and atheletic, walked up to
: me yesterday and said "Mom, I feel
: strange when I haven't hugged and kissed you
: for a long time." Even though "a
: long time" could have only been since
: the good-night kiss the night before. So we
: hugged and kissed and I told him how nice it
: was for him to tell me that.
: My 7 yo is less athletic and more
: science-minded, but is the biggest cuddle
: bug. He often says, "Mom, I just want
: to cuddle and talk" So we lay down,
: cuddle and talk about all the things that
: bring him joy: bugs, frogs, reptiles, bugs,
: ocean creatures, etc.
: And, of course, I cuddle and kiss all over the
: twins.
: THEN ON OTHER DAYS...
: The oldest two fight and wrestle around. And
: when they play, they fight and wrestle
: around. The twins...well, they fight and
: wrestle around. And when they play... they
: fight and wrestle around! Quite an active
: house, to say the least.
: Needless to say, we aren't very academically
: structured around here and I pretty much
: follow a delight-directed/Better late than
: early philosophy of homeschooling. My 9yo is
: just learning to read, (about 20 mins/5 days
: per week)but is as quick as a whip. I
: haven't begun phonics with my 7 yo yet. But
: because he is such a scientist, I feel it is
: more important to encourage his
: self-directed experiments and projects. Our
: daily focus is usually character training
: (getting along, being respectful, manners),
: Biblical instruction, diligence and
: proficiency in chores, delight-directed
: activities and keeping the twins from
: tearing down the house!
: I love the combination God gave me!
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MESSAGE: (#186) Re: teaching about God
AUTHOR: snow NC
DATE: Wednesday, 19 April 2000, at 10:08 p.m.
Reply To: (#184) Re: teaching about God
Author: Patty
Date: Wednesday, 19 April 2000, at 8:25 a.m.
The site for Plants Grown Up is http://doorposts.net/plants.htm
Link: Plants Grown Up
URL:
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MESSAGE: (#188) My "special needs boys"
AUTHOR: Kristen AKA cur
DATE: Thursday, 20 April 2000, at 4:45 p.m.
Reply To: (#170) Competition~ How much do they need?
Author: Kristen AKA cur
Date: Monday, 17 April 2000, at 5:42 p.m.
My older son is diagnosed Bipolar and PTSD. My younger son is being evaluated
now for OCD, and Sensory Integretion problems. Stress makes my older son's
illness (in particular) worse dramatically. We had to drop the karate mostly
because of competition between the 2 would escalate and someone would get
hurt.
I don't think they necessarily need competition to grow up ok, but American
Culture seems to almost demand it for "success". *I* don't want or need them
to be "successful" in the typical American way (reason #487 for hs), but I
want them to be equiped for what *they* want to do.
Just something more to think about...Ü
~~(*-*)~~
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MESSAGE: (#189) Another opinion
AUTHOR: Lee
DATE: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 9:01 a.m.
Reply To: (#173) teaching about God
Author: Laura O.
Date: Tuesday, 18 April 2000, at 9:28 a.m.
Using devotionals is a good idea if you can find a good one. However, I do
like the Alpha Omega Bible courses. They are very thorough in taking the
student through the Bible and I think it's very important for a Christian to
know exactly what the Bible says, from beginning to end. If you decide after a
year of devotionals, that you do want a curriculum, I recommend AO.
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MESSAGE: (#191) Boys party
AUTHOR: Maureen
DATE: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 6:19 p.m.
We're going to have a birthday party for my son (will be 5) in a little over a
week. What kind of fun ideas do you all have? He said something about doing "A
Bug's Life" party, which is quite convenient since we already have figurines
that we got from Life cereal a couple years ago. I figured those might go on
the cake. What about games and stuff? What kind of fantastic ideas do you all
have?
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MESSAGE: (#192) Re: Boys party
AUTHOR: Annette
DATE: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 9:24 p.m.
Reply To: (#191) Boys party
Author: Maureen
Date: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 6:19 p.m.
Instead of cake each child can make his own bucket of "mud" with worms in it.
The mud consists of crushed chocolate cookies. Pour some chocolate pudding in
a toy bucket that the child can take home with him. Let them sprinkle some
chocolate cookies on top, stir in some jelly worms with a toy shovel and
enjoy. Later rinse out the buckets and go on a bug hunt. Hide plastic or
rubber bugs around the house or yard and let them collect them up. Play pin
the antennae on the bug, pin the dot on the lady bug. Instead of party hats
the kids can each wear a head band with bug anntenae. Face painting? I will
let you know if I come up with anything else.
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MESSAGE: (#193) Re: My "special needs boys"
AUTHOR: Maureen
DATE: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 9:46 p.m.
Reply To: (#188) My "special needs boys"
Author: Kristen AKA cur
Date: Thursday, 20 April 2000, at 4:45 p.m.
What a load! My goodness, I think you need to talk with your sons' therapists
about these things in detail. I don't know about any "magical" cures for
bipolar and I don't know much about OCD, but as far as the PTSD, there is a
therapy treatment that uses eye movement that has results bordering on
miraculous that you need to investigate. Gosh, it's been so long since I've
been in school, so I forget exactly what it is called, but seriously look into
it.
I can see why a child with PTSD would not do well with competitive sports and
bipolar people tend to really "stir the pot" as it might be said. They tend to
stir up as much trouble as they can manage so you really have to be consistent
with them where limits are concerned. I remember in the juvenile mental
illness group I worked with that it was a lot of hard work with our bipolars.
They were also very interesting.
Definitely work closely with your older child's therapist and thoroughly
discuss your concerns and ideas about integrating him in things so that he
will be more prepared to work in the real world. I'm sure the therapist will
have a lot of good ideas. If not, get a different one.
I'd recommend the same thing with your other son. When you have things that
you'd like to see him involved in, thoroughly discuss those things with his
specialists and see what kind of things they recommend in his case.
Your sons' medical/treatment professionals are your employees, there to help
you and your son get the most out of life. If they don't seem that helpful,
look elsewhere. A good therapist, when given certain parameters and goals that
you would like to meet and given the concerns that your husband has, ought to
be able to recommend certain activities and put together a plan that will help
take your sons to their next level. If a therapist is helpful for awhile and
then your child seems to outgrow them, ask them for a referral to someone that
might be more qualified to deal with your child's problems.
Before I got into the psych field, I never really thought much about
therapists having specialties and areas of interest, but just like physicians,
therapists have things they train for more, they find more interesting and are
more successful at treating. You'll probably find that you are best served by
therapists and other specialists that excell in the areas your sons have
problems with.
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MESSAGE: (#194) Re: Boys party
AUTHOR: Giovanna
DATE: Saturday, 22 April 2000, at 12:17 a.m.
Reply To: (#191) Boys party
Author: Maureen
Date: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 6:19 p.m.
: We're going to have a birthday party for my son
: (will be 5) in a little over a week. What
: kind of fun ideas do you all have? He said
: something about doing "A Bug's
: Life" party,
Check out the FAMILY FUN website. I don't know the url but I'm sure if you do
a search it will come up. There is supposed to be tons of birthday ideas in
there and I'm sure there has to be a "bug" birthday somewhere in there.
:-)
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MESSAGE: (#195) Re: Boys party
AUTHOR: Catherine in On
DATE: Saturday, 22 April 2000, at 12:39 p.m.
Reply To: (#192) Re: Boys party
Author: Annette
Date: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 9:24 p.m.
Goody bags (favors) could include little bug-keepers (small transparent
ventilated containers with magnifying lid, cost under $1 even using devalued
Canadian money). These could be used to look at real bugs that might show up
in the course of the day.
The kids could create a huge mural with depictions of bugs of all sorts. Just
start it and leave the paper & materials set up on the patio (all right, this
won't work if there is still snow on the ground where you are). There is a
Better Homes & Gardens crafts for kids book all on a bug theme and several of
the projects are suitable for a birthday party. (There is also a dinosaur
theme one which we used extensively for my son's 5th birthday).
: Instead of cake each child can make his own
: bucket of "mud" with worms in it.
: The mud consists of crushed chocolate
: cookies. Pour some chocolate pudding in a
: toy bucket that the child can take home with
: him. Let them sprinkle some chocolate
: cookies on top, stir in some jelly worms
: with a toy shovel and enjoy. Later rinse out
: the buckets and go on a bug hunt. Hide
: plastic or rubber bugs around the house or
: yard and let them collect them up. Play pin
: the antennae on the bug, pin the dot on the
: lady bug. Instead of party hats the kids can
: each wear a head band with bug anntenae.
: Face painting? I will let you know if I come
: up with anything else.
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#200) I also have 4 boys...
AUTHOR: MrsD
DATE: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 12:09 p.m.
Reply To: (#185) Re: I have 4 boys..Me too!..
Author: Patty
Date: Wednesday, 19 April 2000, at 8:37 a.m.
I haven't been to this board in a long time (ever since THE CRASH when we lost
everything!). We have 4 boys ages 14, 13, 10, 9. Sometimes I envy my friend
who has 6 boys! As we get into the upper grades (the oldest will start 9th
grade this next school year) I like to hear how others do science, math, etc.,
with a goal of showing them career opportunities. I will read more on this
board and see what is there!
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#202) Boys, Crankiness, and Their Diets
AUTHOR: Linda
DATE: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:28 p.m.
We only have one child - a strong-willed son. :-) Homeschooling this boy can
be a real challenge! There are so many things that could be said, but I'll
simply point out that changes in his diet over the years has been very helpful
to our homeschooling.
He is now 13, but when he was younger, red dyes (in drinks and candy mostly)
and sugar were major problems. He would simply become so mean and cranky after
consuming either. If he had a sugar-cereal breakfast, school was a real
battle.
For a long time I felt like I wasn't a good mother for not letting him have
treats, but in the long run, I wasn't helping him or us as a family.
More recently, we have made a complete overhaul of our diets and again, I am
seeing good results. We have eliminated processed foods (all that boxed and
canned and packaged quick stuff!), white flour, and sugar. My son is more
cooperative in the schoolroom than he has been in a long time -- no more highs
and lows, no more tiredness, much more pleasant ... a marked improvement.
Everyone seems happier here now.
I would encourage any of you who are having trouble with cranky children in
the schoolroom to try and make some changes in your children's diets and see
what happens. Our son doesn't mind a piece of fruit or cheese for a snack --
he actually doesn't feel good if he has something in the junk food line
anymore.
Anybody else notice this with diet and cooperation in the schoolroom?
Linda
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#203) boys
AUTHOR: Laurie
DATE: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:37 p.m.
I have three boys, 14,11,4. My oldest loves my 4year old to death but treats
my 11 year old terrible. It is hard for me to swallow the excuse it's his age.
Do you have any advice?
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#204) When the problem is actually a HEALTH problem...
AUTHOR: Giovanna
DATE: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:42 p.m.
Reply To: (#202) Boys, Crankiness, and Their Diets
Author: Linda
Date: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:28 p.m.
: Anybody else notice this with diet and
: cooperation in the schoolroom?
Linda,
Thank you for taking the time to post this. I know that a lot of mothers are
going to be reading this and wondering if this could also be their child.
Can you recommend some books on diets and how certain foods affect the
behavior in children?
Let me tell you all what happened to me today.
Both my children had their yearly eye exams today. Both of them have 20/20
vision (so far...both hubby and I are both blind as can be so I'm sure it's
just a matter of time -- grin). The doctor (a pediatric eye doctor) was
concerned that although Andrew does have 20/20 vision he is not focusing
correctly. It is some type of muscle problem. It's called Intermitent
Alternating Exotrapia or something like that....
It makes it hard for him to read for a long time.
And here was I thinking my son was "lazy." :-( He doesn't like to read for
long periods of time and now I know why. It wears out his eyes.
I learned a big lesson today. Sometimes these "behavioral school problems" are
not "behavior" problems but more like PHYSICAL problems and we don't even know
it. :-(
Usually the last thing we think about when a child is reluctant to read
(especially when he is a good reader) is that there is a vision problem. And
just like in Linda's case... her son's crankiness was actually a major
reaction to certain foods.
Giovanna
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#205) Re: boys
AUTHOR: Giovanna
DATE: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:45 p.m.
Reply To: (#203) boys
Author: Laurie
Date: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:37 p.m.
: I have three boys, 14,11,4. My oldest loves my
: 4year old to death but treats my 11 year old
: terrible. It is hard for me to swallow the
: excuse it's his age. Do you have any advice?
Can you give us more details? Why do you think he treats this particular
sibling badly? Could there be a streak of jealousy, competition?
Giovanna
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#206) Sounds like my house...
AUTHOR: AnnaM
DATE: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 6:48 a.m.
Reply To: (#203) boys
Author: Laurie
Date: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:37 p.m.
I have 4 boys; almost11, 9, 8, and 6. The oldest takes care of the youngest
and is good friends with ds2, but ds3 knows how to aggravate his older brother
(and me too at times). The first year I had them home was a constant battle.
They are finally learning to get along better. I don't remember what I did
though. They still get into it. It is personality more than anything with them
and they have had to learn to get along. I figure it's good training for the
"real world", when they have to get along with all kinds of people. Anyway, I
never let a kid's age be used as an excuse for misbehavior. It is perfectly
reasonable to expect your 14yo to treat your 11yo with respect. Could you give
more details?
Anna
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#207) only boy
AUTHOR: kyla
DATE: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 6:14 p.m.
Hi! I have one boy and four daughters. My husband is concerned with my
hometeaching our son because he should be around "other boys". Does anyone
else have a similiar situation? If so how is it going?
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#208) Eye Movement Treatment
AUTHOR: Brenda In Ohio
DATE: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 7:59 p.m.
Reply To: (#193) Re: My "special needs boys"
Author: Maureen
Date: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 9:46 p.m.
The treatment is called EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
There is a website for the EMDR Institute which will give you more information
about the treatment.
Link: EMDR Institute
URL:
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#209) Re: boys
AUTHOR: Laurie
DATE: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 8:39 p.m.
Reply To: (#205) Re: boys
Author: Giovanna
Date: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:45 p.m.
: Can you give us more details? Why do you think
: he treats this particular sibling badly?
: Could there be a streak of jealousy,
: competition?
: Giovanna
It hit me like a ton of bricks, it's school. My boys go to public school. My
oldest is struggling very much with grades. My middle one does well with
grades. My oldest is the big athletic one though. I am pulling the middle one
and he will go one year to a Christian school, then I am going to homeschool
both the younger ones, this isn't in concrete yet. I was given advice by well
known homeschoolers not to pull out the older one, what do you think? He
doesn't want to be homeschooled at all. Thanks Laurie
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#210) Re: Another opinion
AUTHOR: Laurie
DATE: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 8:48 p.m.
Reply To: (#189) Another opinion
Author: Lee
Date: Friday, 21 April 2000, at 9:01 a.m.
: Using devotionals is a good idea if you can
: find a good one. However, I do like the
: Alpha Omega Bible courses. They are very
: thorough in taking the student through the
: Bible and I think it's very important for a
: Christian to know exactly what the Bible
: says, from beginning to end. If you decide
: after a year of devotionals, that you do
: want a curriculum, I recommend AO.
I just want to tell you that I have purchased the Doorpost, Plants grown up
and it is wonderful. You can incorporate it in with school easily. You can use
certain parts with English, spelling etc. This is a character building book.
One you can put down and pick up at any time. Dr Dobson has some wonderful
devotionals available at Focus on the Family for teens also. It is hard to see
your child sort of pull away spiritually but they are making their
Christianity their own, he will be ok! Laurie
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#211) Re: boys
AUTHOR: Giovanna
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 12:02 a.m.
Reply To: (#209) Re: boys
Author: Laurie
Date: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 8:39 p.m.
: I was given advice by well
: known homeschoolers not to pull out the
: older one, what do you think? He doesn't
: want to be homeschooled at all. Thanks
: Laurie
Gosh, this is tough. Your oldest is 14, right? Part of me wants to tell you...
YEAH, PULL THEM ALL OUT! HOMESCHOOL THEM ALL!
But then reality sets in.
A 14 year old IS a 14 year old! He can't really be forced to do something he
doesn't want to do. He needs to be almost "romanced" into it. In other words,
you have to intice him to want to come home. It almost has to be their
decision. At this age, it's too late to make a child "obey". If that part of
the parent/child relationship hasn't been established yet then it's pretty
much too late to start to establish it. At this stage the interaction between
parent and child has to be more through a mutual relationship of trust and
respect. If that isn't happening then that has to be your #1 priority.
It's hard to really give an opinion as to what's going on. I don't live in
your home, I don't know your son. There is no way for any of us to know what's
in his heart or why he acts the way he does toward his brother.
If he senses that his brother is favored (for whatever reason) then this may
be the cause of his behavior. But who knows?
There is a book called HOW TO REALLY LOVE YOUR CHILD. The author is... gosh, I
forget, it's been a while since I read it. I know the last name is Campbell.
Get this book! You can get it at your local library, I'm sure. There is also,
from what I've heard, a follow up book called HOW TO REALLY LOVE YOUR
TEENAGER. I'd read the child one first, though. This book really opened my
eyes to the feelings of children. All children are loved by their parents but
some children don't FEEL loved. This book shows you how to make sure your
child feels unconditionally loved.
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#212) Re: When the problem is actually a HEALTH problem.
AUTHOR: Linda
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 7:52 a.m.
Reply To: (#204) When the problem is actually a HEALTH problem...
Author: Giovanna
Date: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:42 p.m.
: Can you recommend some books on diets and how
: certain foods affect the behavior in
: children?
Giovanna, I am really not sure of anything in particular to recommend. My
thoughts on this have been put together over years of hearing other moms talk,
and reading snippets of information here and there. Most recently, I have
heard mention of the book Sugar Blues by William F. Duffy. It is not a new
book, but the information is still pertinent today. Amazon carries the book
and if you hop over there and read all the customer reviews, they are pretty
amazing.
I honestly can't say enough about the behavior change in our son since we
adjusted his diet. All those chemicals, sugar, and poor eating habits were
really taking a toll.
Linda
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#213) Re: boys
AUTHOR: Suz
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 8:55 a.m.
Reply To: (#209) Re: boys
Author: Laurie
Date: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 8:39 p.m.
: It hit me like a ton of bricks, it's school. My
: boys go to public school. My oldest is
: struggling very much with grades. My middle
: one does well with grades. My oldest is the
: big athletic one though.
It could very well be a personality conflict. Or it could be competitive. Or
it could be a combination of both. I applaud your decision to homeschool them,
but I caution you: don't expect that to be a "cure" for their conflicts. It
should, however give ample opportunity for them to learn to get along better.
I have certainly found that to be the case for my 2 boys, who are basically
night and day and not naturally compatible. They get along tolerably well
these days, though.
Suz
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#214) Re: boys
AUTHOR: Laurie
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 9:32 a.m.
Reply To: (#211) Re: boys
Author: Giovanna
Date: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 12:02 a.m.
: Gosh, this is tough. Your oldest is 14, right?
: Part of me wants to tell you... YEAH, PULL
: THEM ALL OUT! HOMESCHOOL THEM ALL!
: But then reality sets in.
: A 14 year old IS a 14 year old! He can't really
: be forced to do something he doesn't want to
: do. He needs to be almost
: "romanced" into it. In other
: words, you have to intice him to want to
: come home. It almost has to be their
: decision. At this age, it's too late to make
: a child "obey". If that part of
: the parent/child relationship hasn't been
: established yet then it's pretty much too
: late to start to establish it. At this stage
: the interaction between parent and child has
: to be more through a mutual relationship of
: trust and respect. If that isn't happening
: then that has to be your #1 priority.
: It's hard to really give an opinion as to
: what's going on. I don't live in your home,
: I don't know your son. There is no way for
: any of us to know what's in his heart or why
: he acts the way he does toward his brother.
: If he senses that his brother is favored (for
: whatever reason) then this may be the cause
: of his behavior. But who knows?
: There is a book called HOW TO REALLY LOVE YOUR
: CHILD. The author is... gosh, I forget, it's
: been a while since I read it. I know the
: last name is Campbell. Get this book! You
: can get it at your local library, I'm sure.
: There is also, from what I've heard, a
: follow up book called HOW TO REALLY LOVE
: YOUR TEENAGER. I'd read the child one first,
: though. This book really opened my eyes to
: the feelings of children. All children are
: loved by their parents but some children
: don't FEEL loved. This book shows you how to
: make sure your child feels unconditionally
: loved.
Thank you for the book suggestion, my friend just read "the five languages of
love" she said it was the best book she has read. It is important that they
feel loved, I am working on that aspect, even with my husband. My oldest is a
quiet child, hard to know what's going on with him at time. I'm sure glad
summer is almost here, I can see with the pressure of school off him, he
relaxes and is much happier. We really try to not favor one child more than
another, he may interperate praise for good grades for our middle one as
favortism but he deserves praise. My husband worries about our oldest with his
poor grades right now and sometimes rides him too much about them. We talk and
then he'll get off his back. Just a little hard right now. I'm seeking the
Lord daily for him, this kind of situation just makes me remember that without
God and his Spirit working we are helpless. With Him all things are possible.
Thanks, Laurie
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#215) Re: only boy
AUTHOR: Giovanna
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 3:21 p.m.
Reply To: (#207) only boy
Author: kyla
Date: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 6:14 p.m.
: Hi! I have one boy and four daughters. My
: husband is concerned with my hometeaching
: our son because he should be around
: "other boys". Does anyone else
: have a similiar situation? If so how is it
: going?
I have a son and a daughter so I guess I can say I have an "only boy." (grin)
There are plenty of opportunities available for homeschool boys to interact
with other homeschool (and public school) boys. Sports, 4H, boys scouts,
church activities (if applicable)...the list is endless!
Just because you are at home learning does not mean you are shut out from the
world. Trust me, your son does not need to be around other boys 8+ hours a
day, 5 days a week for him to be "properly socialized". He will be just fine!
Look into some activities for him.
Link: Ojections to Homeschooling---(this is really good!)
URL:
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#216) Where does myopia originate?
AUTHOR: Maureen
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 4:36 p.m.
Reply To: (#204) When the problem is actually a HEALTH problem...
Author: Giovanna
Date: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:42 p.m.
I was really interested in what the Moore's said about early reading affecting
vision so I asked my optometrist. I, like you, am blind as a bat. My hubby has
20/20 vision that has deteriorated during the last few years, what we believe
is a direct result of his work...staring at a computer all day long. What my
optometrist said, and it makes a lot of sense, with what I know about muscles
and atrophy is your eyes use muscles to focus. When you read a book for hours
right in front of your face without routine breaks, you cause the muscle in
your eyes to get stuck like that. People who live in a room that is 6x6 for
too long can no longer see further than 6 feet in front of their face. In
undeveloped countries where people don't read all the time there is only a 2%
rate of myopia versus our society where it is 50%. What my optometrist said
about avoiding induced myopia is to take regular "eye breaks," focusing on an
object far away, like looking out the window and focusing on a tree in the
yard or a bird or something. I wish someone has told me to do this as a child.
No one ever said anything about this. I guess our ignorance protects an
optometrist's livelihood.
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#217) Re: boys
AUTHOR: Maureen
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 5:04 p.m.
Reply To: (#209) Re: boys
Author: Laurie
Date: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 8:39 p.m.
You have a lot of complicated matters to look at and decide what is the best
way to deal with. you are a lot further along in your "career" than I am, with
kids 5 and under. I will say that for sure there is a lot of romancing
requirements with an older child like that. Also, there is a time to put your
foot down. I read a great book called "Raising Brothers and Sisters without
Raising the Roof" by Carol Calladine that you might want to check out. She's
got a lot of valuable ideas, IMHO. I sure hope you get things figured out.
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#218) Re: only boy
AUTHOR: Maureen
DATE: Thursday, 27 April 2000, at 5:09 p.m.
Reply To: (#207) only boy
Author: kyla
Date: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 6:14 p.m.
My only boy plays with all kinds of girlie toys, but I have to say, there is a
distiguishing difference. He says he was playing "Barbies" with his sister and
cousins, but when I ask further, he was taking his car and crashing into the
Barbie house. he he...I don't think I have to worry about them over civilizing
him! :-)
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#220) Re: boys
AUTHOR: Cerelle
DATE: Sunday, 30 April 2000, at 5:45 p.m.
Reply To: (#203) boys
Author: Laurie
Date: Tuesday, 25 April 2000, at 10:37 p.m.
A book I've found very helpful over the years is Siblings Without Rivalry, by
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. I used to make a habit of reading it once a
year. Seems like every year brought with it a new constellation of sibling
dynamics, you know? And each time I read this book, something else would jump
out at me.
I think I agree with those who have advised you not to attempt to home educate
a 14-year-old who doesn't want to leave school. It could sure backfire if you
tried to do this by force with a child that old. The one thing that nearly
always spells doom for homeschooling is an antagonistic relationship between
parent and child.
Good luck!
Cerelle
***************************************************************************
MESSAGE: (#221) Re: only boy
AUTHOR: Cerelle
DATE: Sunday, 30 April 2000, at 6:42 p.m.
Reply To: (#207) only boy
Author: kyla
Date: Wednesday, 26 April 2000, at 6:14 p.m.
Kyla, I have two daughters and a single (youngest) son. My husband was never
against the idea of Hunter's being homeschooled, but he has worried, at times,
that Hunter may feel a bit outnumbered by people of the female persuasion
around here! LOL!
And indeed, Hunter felt so overpowered by us womenfolk when he was 5 that he
actually asked to go to kindergarten -- so he could meet some BOYS!
We let him attend a private kindergarten for a semester, which was long enough
to convince him that school wasn't really the best way to meet friends. :) He
ended up meeting his very best friend in a theater class he took when he 8
years old, and they've been best buds ever since (nearly 7 years, now!).
Now that our older daughter is away at college and our younger daughter is
busy out in the real world (she still lives at home, but she's often gone all
day and most of the evening), I'm the outnumbered one. Ha ha! A couple of
years ago, I knew we were coming into an important social age, for Hunter, so
we joined a large homeschooling group in the city. Nothing much happened the
first year, but this year he has been attending more and more of the group
activities and making friends -- MALE friends, that is.
If this homeschooling support group situation had not been available to us,
I'm sure we would have sought out some other kind of solution. We might have
gone back to theater classes, for instance. Many families go the Boy Scouts
route, and community sports teams -- baseball or soccer, for instance -- would
be another option.
I guess the main thing to remember is that school's not the only game in town.
If a family wants or needs something that school can provide, for whatever
reason, there are usually alternate sources of that commodity that can be
found within the community. Then again, some families may ultimately decide
that school is the best solution for a particular child, and that's fine, too,
as long as they've carefully considered all the alternatives as well.
Cerelle
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